Get Into Alignment with Dr. Pamela Moss

In this Episode

• [02:07]Dr. Pamela Moss explains her origin story of how she developed soul alignment.
• [06:19]Stephan asks Dr. Pamela about her awakening experiences, and they both talk about illusion.
• [14:15]Dr. Pamela and Stephan discuss resistance and share what they are resisting.
• [17:51]Dr. Pamela discusses helpful ways to remove resistance.
• [21:58]Dr. Pamela and Stephan discuss cord cutting.
• [25:48]Stephan and Dr. Pamela discuss archangel Michael and his sword.
• [30:56]Dr. Pamela explains how we should view the ego. She also talks about her shadow and how she integrates it personally.
• [36:31]Stephan and Dr. Pamela discuss synchronicities that could happen in our lives.
• [39:58]How did Dr. Pamela meet her soulmate?
• [47:06]Dr. Pamela talks about the Soul Alignment System.
• [52:27]What happens when you’re not authentic to who you are?
• [56:46]Work with Dr. Pamela.

Jump to Links and Resources

Pamela, it’s so great to have you on the show. 

Thank you. I’m honored and delighted to be here.

I’d love to hear your origin story. How did you develop the soul alignment system and get on this path you are working on? 

I certainly never thought about it. It was not something I said. I want to be a spiritual entrepreneur. I once called myself an atheist. I didn’t believe in anything. I believed in academics and was far from who I am today. 

I had a series of awakening experiences. Many of your listeners can relate too. Things happen, and we realize, “Wait a minute, the reality is not how I thought, and I am not who I thought.” That came about my transformational event in New York City. I had a day off and decided to go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. 

I know they had an exhibit of Byzantine icons. I was like, “I got to see them,” which was very strange for a Jewish girl who never had an interest in Christianity, but that was how it was. 

I went to the museum, and the workshop was about the story of who you are, the identity you make yourself, which is your false identity, and the possibility that you are the stigma between the ordinary identity and yourself as a creator of whatever you want to be. I saw these different icons, these paintings of those states with gold leaf, and thought, “This one is just about the possibility of mercy. That one’s the possibility of faith. This one is the possibility of compassion.” They each hold an energy of a certain quality. 

It could be someone who always practices, which we almost do at peak moments. Then I finally got in front of a really big icon, the Madonna and child, and they were staring at me so intently that I felt this profound sense of divine love come into my heart. It hurt my heart. I couldn’t receive it. 

I started to get teary. This voice said, “Wouldn’t it be amazing to paint portraits of people that show the divine in them?” I thought that would be amazing, “but wait a minute, I’m not an artist and can’t say divine. People will think I’m weird.” 

I was so inspired by this image that I went home, turned the corner of my bedroom into an art studio, and reclaimed something I had forgotten. As a teenager, I was a really good portraitist. I capture very accurate likeness of people.

I created this whole conversation to talk to people about what lights them up in life and what they give to their shadows—helping them come up with their essence words by going through everything we discussed. Then I would paint these portraits of them that will show them all lit up and with images from their life and dreams that reminded them of the essence of who they are. They are just really powerful images. I’ve felt so dilated to be making them. 

It turned out they were really powerful for the people who had them. People called it a magic mirror. “No matter how I feel, I look at the image. It restores me to my full self and calms me down.” From that place, I had the portrait shown at an art trail in my town. People started asking me to coach them. I didn’t know what coaching was. I asked, “Okay, what do you want to pay me?” 

One thing led to another on this path I would never have known about or been open to if I hadn’t had something that awakened me to explore who I am and all those possible. That’s one origin story. 

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How amazing. Now you said you were an atheist. Is that from childhood? How did that come about? 

My parents would call themselves atheists, but now I see them both as mystics who are just in denial. I married a super hyper-rational, Harvard summa cum laude logician hostile to religion or psychology. Before I met him, I was already exploring spirituality, but I decided at a deep level that I’ll be with him. I want to make babies with him, and I’ll just put that away as if I could forget it. I forgot about it for 20 years and then had this awakening experience that came rushing back in. 

I forgot the big difference I want to make in the world. I forgot what I’m here for. Then boom, it was back. There was no looking back on that. I just had to keep walking on the path. It’s such a profound calling.

You’re referring to awakening experiences. One you mentioned at the MET. What were some of the other ones? 

The other one was I went to this Shamanic drumming retreat, and I thought at first that nothing was happening. Everybody is getting it except for me. We were all lying on the floor, and the drums were doing their rhythms. I was just really worried that I wasn’t going to get it and I was wasting my time. I was mad at myself. 

Suddenly, I saw in the distance that these huge clouds were coming, like clouds of angels. There was all this light around them. I found myself flying up in the air, far above the earth. I was like a skydiver with my arms and feet out. I was looking down at the earth. 

I saw myself with the tiny light below but was also somehow up here. Then I realized there were other people or angels. We’re all touching fingers or toes. We’re this whole grid around the world. The sun came around, and I saw the grid light up like gold. Each one of us is like a jewel at the center of it. 

It was this powerful vision. I was told it was the web of light. It just blew my mind. I am here to support, energize, and connect the web of light. Then I found out when I was reading a book a client gave me when I told her about this vision. It had a description of the Indian god Indra. Three thousand years ago, they described Indra’s net, which sounded awful like what I saw. My mind was blown away. This isn’t my vision. 

Then I saw a friend who posted a picture of her altar and a picture of the web of light. It was not just a thousand years ago. People around the world know it. “How can this be? I don’t understand.”

That was another start of a mind-opening experience. There were quite a few. I just realized reality is much more interesting, complicated, rich, deep, and magical than I ever imagined. 

The reality, as we think of it, isn’t real. 

Exactly. Seeing all the illusions has been a big part of a journey for me, you, and everybody. I can see through the illusions and realize I don’t have to get about that because it’s just a game. 

Reality is much more interesting, complicated, rich, deep, and magical than imagined.

It is just a game. I love the book The Game of Life and How to Play It. It’s a 100-year-old book. 

Florence Scovel Shinn got it. What a great teacher. 

It’s amazing. What would be an example of something where the illusion fell away from you? A glitch in the matrix moment like, “Wow, the thing I thought was not real. “

Exactly. A lot of them revolve around money. Like it or not, money has been a big teacher to me. I did not want it to be. Love and money are the big teachers to me. I’ve learned and grown so much in a relationship. It has been a profound awakening to realize the suffering I’ve felt. 

For example, with my first husband, there came the point after many years together, and I started to follow my path, we had more arguments. He asked, “Why do you have to bring God into it? Why isn’t it enough to say it is the way it is?” He couldn’t understand. 

We had all these fights trying to keep our kids from knowing about it, “I don’t know how it can be, but I want us to be someday able to separate with love and peace. I want our kids to be able to be happy with that.” We both have new partners and a bigger family. I don’t know how it will happen, but that’s what I want. 

Conscious uncoupling. 

That’s exactly what happened. It seemed impossible at that time because I practiced what I heard. Somebody calls letting love win instead of me winning or him winning. A lot of times, he was winning because he was very logical. He could argue with me anytime. I would tell him, “You are winning every battle but losing the war. This is not going well.” I was just distraught because I loved him. I still loved him. It’s just that I can’t be married to him. 

Practicing letting love win will look like he will be yelling at me or being angry at me, and I ask myself, “What would it look like to let love win right now?” I always see the higher perspective as if I was looking down at it, and I can see, “Oh, he’s really scared.” You’re taking all these steps and risks on your entrepreneurial path. He hates that. He wants everything secured, safe, and known. “He’s upset with you because he’s scared. That’s what’s going on.” 

I can respond like, “Wow, I realized you are scared. I’m sorry. I understand.” We would embrace. Things would change. 

By practicing that repeatedly, we’d have arguments, walk away for a while, and come back simultaneously. It was a profound practice of letting go because my ego wanted to be right. It needed to be right to win. That was a big part of the illusion that got cracked open inside. 

Intention is super powerful. You better be careful what your intent is.

Winning that way wasn’t what I wanted. Give me what I want. If either of us won, we both lost, as did our kids and everybody. He started practicing on his own without even knowing it. We’d find ourselves embracing each other.

All kinds of miracles came together so we could consciously complain about how he would care for all the women in his life: me, his two daughters, and his mom. He was sick and tired of it. Be careful what you wish for because, in that one year, his mom died, which was a blessing because we did not have enough furniture for two households, and now we do. Our oldest daughter moved to France, she wasn’t around anymore, and I left. 

Bryan was like a man in shock. From that place, we managed to do exactly that. We met new partners, and Brian came to my current partner, Mark, for dating advice. We all supported him to move forward, get in stock, and find love again. 

There are tons of stories like that where things happened that seemed impossible partly because of the power of intention. I realize that intention is super powerful. You better be careful what your intent is. I used to go in life without intention, floating along, and I think many people do that. 

You said an intention even if you have no idea how it can be fulfilled. That’s where the magic happens. You are inviting the cosmos to create magic for you, to rearrange things so they can happen. 

That’s miraculous. 

It is miraculous. The more you realize how miraculous it is, the more you can’t. The most dramatic example I have had is one day I woke up, and my bank account was in the red. I saw I had been charged three times for a payment I was making, so that explained it. 

I was freaked out completely, and my system couldn’t handle those. It was a total fight or flight. Then that same day, I signed up somebody who was a $15,000 client. I saw, “Wow, this money thing was really weird. I can go from despair and terror to everything’s fine one day.” 

I love this definition of a miracle that I learned from Kabbalah. I studied Jewish Mysticism, and a miracle is not defined as the impossible becoming possible but as the removal of the illusionary veils that hide that everything is a blessing. 

When you get to where you know everything is a blessing, no matter how it appears, it is a blessing.

I love that. When you get to where you know everything is a blessing, no matter how it appears, it is a blessing. Your job is to see, “Okay, what’s the blessing?” I’ve experienced that so many times. 

I do for myself a process I call alignment: aligning with my intention. That’s really about getting deep clarity and removing all resistance because that’s all in the way of experiencing whatever you want, removing the resistance to being possible and present now. After all, we live in an infinite universe where infinite things are possible for all of us at any moment if we just let go of all our resistance. Easier said than done. 

Let’s come up with a couple of examples here. I’ll share one, but I want you to go first. Give me an example of something you are currently resisting. 

Let me think about this because I just did the alignment, so I feel very unresistant. There’s a lot of flow in my life right now. There’s a little resistance left with the money. Part of me is like, “You don’t need money.”

I want to share my gifts with everybody, and I have to create some way of doing that to be accessible to many people who don’t have money and those who do pay me well. It can be very simple, but part of me is resisting that. 

Would you resist having a private jet, eating at Michelin restaurants, and so forth? 

Yeah, those aren’t important to me. I wouldn’t care about a private jet. I do like food. I occasionally treat myself to a nice restaurant. What excites me about making a lot of money is making a bigger difference. 

I have this vision of this foundation of light where I can give gifts to people doing worthy projects that are helping to create the more beautiful world that our hearts know is possible. That’s exciting to me. I would make money for that. I enjoy the pleasures of life, so sure, I want to have those too. 

One thing I learned from my Kabbalah coach is that you expand your vessel by expanding your desire. It’s not just a desire for oneself alone. It’s a desire to share for the purpose of sharing. If you are too ascetic and don’t want to have anything for yourself, you don’t want to enjoy any of the pleasures of life yourself. If it’s only for others, you’re not expanding your vessel enough. 

I would agree with that. I’m not in that place of asceticism anymore. I know there’s little residual resistance. I welcome money right now and I’m glad of it. I have no qualms about it. There’s something unsure there that you are bringing to my attention. Thank you very much, because I need to resolve that. 

Money is just energy; taking our ego out of it is a way to prove ourselves or receive approval. It’s just simply energy in motion. A way to direct that energy lovingly is just through an aspect called money takes a lot of the baggage away. 

 

I thank God I no longer think my net worth is my worth. 

Yeah. I’ll share one of my areas of resistance, which also concerns money. I have some residual guilt around losing a lot of money in some risky trading strategies. It was not a good thing. It doesn’t feel 100% resolved. I’m the one who’s kicking resistance in my path that’s not just there. I’m putting it there to get full resolution and so forth. 

I’m curious. You mentioned you have some processes you work through with your clients to help them remove that resistance in line with the intentions. What would be an exercise to help someone like myself who still has resistance? 

There are many kinds of resistance, and I am happy to share the five R’s to remove resistance. There’s a specific prescription coming in for you. You can picture out each of these stock trades. Whatever it was you felt ashamed about and did wrong. 

The idea is to create a sacred circle. It can be a circle of stones or chairs. Ideally, it’s in nature, but you can do it in your house. You find something to stand for each situation, the losses, whatever you call it. Each one has its marker. 

You fill it into your system, and you pull out. You can pull energy out of yourself just with your hand. You can reach wherever it is and pull it out. It may feel really hard to pull it hard. 

I have this vision of this foundation of light where I can give gifts to people doing worthy projects that are helping to create the more beautiful world that our hearts know is possible.

The loss holds the energy you felt in your body— that particular loss or shame. Once you’ve done that, you can decide how to transmute it. Transmuting may involve sticks burning them, burying them in the ground, or casting them out in the water and letting the water transform them. It can be in the paper. You shred them up, and the air takes them away. Using one of the four elements. 

Once those are all gone, you’ll see space within you and decide what you want to put in there instead. What do you want to hold within you that will completely heal that process? Putting all the energy into them and transmuting them using fire, air, earth, or water is healing. Then you say what you want to hold to make sure you’ve learned everything you need to learn from this. And you don’t have to repeat it. 

That can be a quality like humility. You can install that using a pendulum or breathing it in. There are many ways to do it. Whatever you are guided to do to be clear and clean, you’ll know when you’re fully clear and clean. You can ask yourself, “Am I complete?” 

If you are, hallelujah. You celebrate and save it. We save things by putting our hands, the left hand on top of the right, and touching the thumb tips. Put your hands down a little bit below your belly button. 

This is the best part of doing the process for about ten seconds. That installs into your system. After you save it, you see what inspired or aligned the action. “How can I show my conscious mind that things are different now?” That’s the prescription that I will give to you for your losses. 

That’s cool. One thing that comes to mind is an expression: nature abhors a vacuum. When you remove something, let’s say you do some peace process. You take whatever unresolved issue or trauma and give it to the earth, put it in, and wrap it in love and light, then send it to the infinite light. Then you must replace that vacuum left from the removal with love, light, joy, or prosperity. 

Consciously choose something in there because you don’t want the false stuff coming in. 

Do you use a pendulum quite a lot? Or is it just occasional? 

I use it a lot to move energy. It’s really powerful with moving energy. I do it with clients and by myself. I’ve learned that I don’t have to have it to move energy, but it certainly focuses my intention in a way that works powerfully. 

Once resistance is all gone, you’ll see space within you.

How is working with energy, pendulums, sacred circles, and all of that jive with Judaism? 

I grew up an atheist. We didn’t go to temples or do any religious practices. I’m culturally Jewish. I can imitate my relatives’ accents and traditional food and stuff. It doesn’t seem to come to it. 

Let’s talk about cord cutting. 

That’s what I found a powerful process. There’s a kind of prayer or blessing you say ahead of time. It involves having a conversation, much like you were talking about the cord of atonement. It’s a script. You ask them and their guides to unite and cut cords of disempowerment between you. 

We all have cords of love and connection, and we often have mixed in them cords of disempowerment which is a great dysfunctional relationship and things we can’t get rid of. In this prayer process, we forgive the other person and bless them on their path. We get to where we’ve said everything we need to say and see the cord of disempowerment between ourselves and the other. We imagine a powerful figure on the right side of the archangel Michael’s traditional sword. You take the sword from Michael and cut all the disempowering cords you see before you. 

You take time to look and see them. Where are they attached to you or the other person? How many are there? What are they made up of? What happens when you cut them? Sometimes there’s a reaction where the person staggers back, or blood emerges. Sometimes there’s no reaction. You see what happens. 

Once that is done, the process is completed by honoring them, blessing them on their path, and then you start filling them both up with unconditional love. Ultimately, you watch yourselves fill up with unconditional love, and they spiral back to where they come. 

Even though you may not say a word to this person, the relationship of your family changes. I remember one of my clients who never married. She had a kid who was fifteen. Her mom was very close to her. We cut cords with her mother, her cords of disempowerment. Six months later, she was married. She had no idea her mother did not want her to get married. Her mother just wanted her to be her companion forever. 

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Since we cut cords of disempowerment, she’s found the love of her life. She got married. I knew that she said at the wedding, “I would never be married if I hadn’t cut cords with disempowerment.”

That’s profound. Amazing. 

It was all kinds of great tools. 

It reminds me of a family member who hasn’t married yet, and her mom relies on her very much. 

That sounds like a great example of cords of disempowerment. When we cut the cords of disempowerment, we give power back to the other person and take our power back for us. It’s a gift that empowers the other person. They can then take other steps or just be stuck in a cycle. They will keep doing the same old thing, and we can’t do anything about it. That’s their choice, even if it’s painful.

We don’t heal people without their souls’ permission as we talk to them over the phone.

Absolutely. It will be unethical to do that without having permission on a soul level. 

Right, because you are messing with their free will. You mentioned cutting cords, but disintegrating the cords is a better thing. Words are powerful. We manifest a different reality if we get more precise with our words. I’m curious what you get about that when I say disintegrating cords.

When we cut the cords of disempowerment, we give power back to the other person and take our power back for us. It’s a gift that empowers the other person.

In the way I’ve experienced cord cutting, it does disintegrate them. When cut, they need to withdraw back to the body or disappear. It doesn’t seem like much of a difference, but there may be a difference I could meditate on. 

Some people will hear cutting and imagine it just getting cut. Here’s this cord on one person, and here’s the cord on another person, and they’re just dangling cords. If they disintegrate, that’s gone. 

I always ask them what happens after you cut it, and they say it disappears or goes back inside them. It disintegrates them completely. 

You mentioned the archangel Michael and his sword. Have you seen in your mind’s eye or your third eye visor the sword? Does it have the tetragrammaton, the Yod, Heh, Waw, Heh (YHWH) on it? Is it glowing? 

That’s so interesting. It is glowing, and it’s the sort of truth and light. It also has some patterns, but I never knew to name it something. 

Which is the name of God. Yod, Heh, Waw, Heh. I have seen it in my mind’s eye, and it has those letters of the name of God. 

Wow, that makes sense. Beautiful. I’m fascinated when I hear your story, but it might be inappropriate.

I’ll share a little bit. Once, I called archangel Michael to assist removal of some negative entity. Michael used the sword to dispatch and cut off the head of the serpent thing. I saw it all in my mind’s eye. Then there was another request I made that was similar because there was another one, and Michael operated at superspeed at that time. It was like the VCR you press fast forward. Then it’s 10x speed. 

What just happened? I asked him why he was at such a fast speed. “Well, you asked God directly at that time.”

Interesting. No intermediaries. I like that a lot. 

You can ask for help, and you can work with angels. You can work with your God. To work directly with God, converse directly with him, and share everything going on as this is your best friend, this is God, and you’re not working through any intermediary. You’re developing a personal relationship with God. It’s very important. 

Thank you for the reminder. I talk to God but can see making the primary conversation that will take care of everything else. 

That came about a year ago, maybe a year and a half ago. This thing where was at 10x speed. It wasn’t until this year that I shifted to talking primarily to and with God and much less to my guides and angels. 

Thank you for that. 

It’s been profound. It’s amazing. I used to think maybe I was not worthy of all this personal attention from God, or perhaps I shouldn’t bother him. He’s busy. It was just nonsense. God wants a personal relationship with us. It’s up to us to want it and initiate things again because of free will. 

I love it because so many of us have already woken up, or we’re getting woken up to higher levels, and more people are waking up. It’s this profound pivotal point in our history when it’s all hands on deck. We’ve got it to get you going because we all need to create more beautiful earth, and we got to do our part. Get out of our way now. 

It’s spreading like a virus. This awakening is spreading exponentially. 

It is. It is amazing to me. It is a beautiful thing. Those of us who have been around for a while are like, “Wow, look at that.”

This ripple effect that we have is much larger than we can imagine. 

Yeah, it’s a great blessing. I’m so grateful to be on this path to be called. I’m grateful I got a second chance because I gave up my calling for quite a long time, but it’s never too late. 

Right. I remember getting this card. It was some reading. I was at a podcasting conference, Podfest. There was this red tent where you could go into and get spiritual readings and stuff like this. I did that. I felt called to get one. 

This lady pulled out the card that resonated with me. It was this, “You are perfectly on time.” I believe that’s true for you too. That card is for you as well. You took that 20-year detour because that’s what you needed. That’s part of your journey. 

We all need to create more beautiful earth, and we got to do our part.

I love that about myself. Thank you for that. I receive that. 

I’m curious to hear more about this idea of the gifts of the shadow because I am working to integrate my shadow, which is didactic, preachy, know-it, judgemental, selfish, stingy, and a lot more. 

That’s a good start. 

I’m pretty clear on some of these aspects, but integrating them is another matter because you must love that as much as you love the generous, loving, thoughtful, and kind other parts of you. 

The only thing I will say about what I started to do is reading Debbie Ford’s book The Dark Side of the Light Chasers. I’m a little bit into it. It feels like an important book I must finish, but that’s all I’ve done so far. 

Beautiful. We think of the ego as the bad thing, the thing to overcome, crush, or integrate and disappear. It is our greatest teacher because it will show us every pattern we have. Those are the great lessons in relationships. My partner can always see what I cannot see in my habitual patterns that may not be functional. They are happy to tell and point them out. 

That’s how it’s our greatest teacher. We are willing to see what the ego is showing us, and it’s showing us where we are feeling hurt, whatever the places of weakness because that’s the poor ego’s nature. It feels very weak and insecure, so it points out where we are experiencing that, and that’s a place to heal. It’s all good. 

All the pain that can surface, the unworthiness and all that stuff is for our good. That’s where to look at what you must do to look back because that is not real. 

What’s your shadow, and how do you integrate it personally?

The ego is our greatest teacher because it will show us every pattern we have.

My ego is all about control. I am hardly alone in that. I wanted to control things. I want to make things happen. My ego believes that if I don’t do it, it won’t happen. I’ve got to do it all, which makes me spend a lot of time with busy work and small nitty gritty details that I should not spend time on. It’s not efficient or effective. 

That controlling part of me has caused me the most trouble right now. It’s not like I’m not listening to it. I’m listening to it exactly. I’m doing what it wants. I just came out from spending several hours working on emails. I can practically die. I really should not be doing that. I should be able to outline it or make somebody else do it for me. I don’t need to be doing that, but there’s me holding onto that so I have control. 

That controlling part of me is not my friend, although it is a great teacher. I could benefit from those where I feel that impulse. What happens if I don’t? Will the world end? I don’t think so. 

It looks like we play something that used to go heavy, serious, and dark and tell the truth about it. My true self is just naturally playful. I do learn what I need to learn from it too. I want to see what the ego is showing me because I’m not free of it and don’t expect it ever to be. I expected to be my teacher as long as I needed one.  

It’s part of us, and God created it. 

Absolutely. Many religions consider the ego something to be stamped out or eradicated. That’s just not what I believe at all. God creates it for our growth and healing. 

Yeah, ego death is something to be inspired towards. That’s a strange concept to me. 

You are like, “Okay, what would you be like?” You can be very nonresistant, but be total without any point of view.

I want to have a complete integration of my shadow. Do you get any sense of anything that I am resisting there? Any resistance I am kicking in front of my path? 

Let me see. My question for you is, “What are you afraid of?” 

I don’t know that I am afraid of anything. That’s interesting. I’m not afraid of death. 

There’s no reason to be afraid of death. 

I’m afraid of going off the path, I guess. Getting lost, distracted from my mission and climbing the ladder towards God. 

That’s the dark side of the light chasers. The rest of us are called to serve and to lift humanity. We don’t want to fail. That would be so terrible and painful. Even though our mission may seem way beyond what we can ever do, we still got to give it all we can and to fail and not complete it feels horrible. For all of us, deep down, it’s almost the worst that could happen, more than losing loved ones or all kinds of things, to fail at what we are here for.  

How would you describe what you are here for? 

I have a very specific mission. I was told it at different times. I hear the light to heal the healers, to serve the servants. I’m told I am here to strengthen, charge, and connect the light web. I’m told that healing our money story is part of my work. Those are the big pieces. 

Also, it’s true for all of us to become the false version of who I am. I’ve already integrated the artist, the healer, the musician, the dancer, and the mystic, but other aspects can be integrated. I want to be the fullest expression of this being I can be. It takes different ways to explore, express, and bless that. 

You’ve been told a lot of these things from above. What resonates the most with you and your soul?

It makes me teary when you say that. I want to bless and be blessed. It’s just really intense. I experienced it. It’s not like it’s so far away. 

That’s beautiful, and so you are at your essence. 

Yeah. How about you? Who are you at your essence?

I was cleaving to God. That’s why I am here. 

One of the things I love about having these conversations is we’re so supportive. There are so many of us, and we all have different flavors and ways of helping. We’re never alone. Not only is God always with us, but we’re just really this web of light that’s profoundly connected. I don’t know about you, but everywhere I go, I meet people. 

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Where everything is connected, we’re all connected. Separation is an illusion; synchronicities happen faster once you tune into that truth. It’s how the universe is meant to work. It’s not just a random happy accident that occurs every once in a while. It’s like, “Wow, it’s a great reminder that there is more to this reality than meets the eye.” No, the universe is supposed to work through synchronicities. 

I’m so glad you mentioned that because synchronicities often appear in my life and work with people. I’m reminding myself whenever it feels really hard. That is the opposite of what’s available. The best thing I can do is stop. My husband says frustrations are like banging your head against the wall. When you stop doing it, you’re like, “I can’t stop.” When frustrated, I don’t have to keep banging my head against the wall. 

I realize that when things seem hard, me filing the emails and trying to ensure everybody gets the right email is the opposite of synchronicity and flow. All I need to do is stop and walk away. My ego says, “But you’ve got to finish that, and you’ve got this tiny micro-shift here.”

Like now, it’s the opportunity in my daily life just to let go of that. Send an email with a blessing. Don’t even worry about precisely who gets what. It’ll go to the one who needs it. I really appreciate the reminder that flow and synchronicity are our natural states. We’re not in resistance. 

Right, and to welcome that in and not just brush it off. It slows the receiving down. If somebody pops into your mind who hasn’t popped into your mind for months or years, that’s not random. Take action. Send that person an email. Send them a text. If you don’t do that, then you’re pushing away. You’re resisting the receiving of synchronicities because that person can be your next client even though you haven’t talked to them in ten years. 

Right. So many times when people bring testimonials when they work with me, they say, “Blah blah blah happened out of the blue,” which is when you’re aligned with your intention. It’s your synchronicity flowing. It happens because you are a match. It occurs instantly, no matter how you think it has to be. I have so many examples where people say out of the blue, which is just synchronicity. 

It gives short shrift to how miraculous this universe is and how things are meant to be. You and your husband were meant to be together. You have soul contracts with each other, and maybe it was seemingly by chance that you met, but it couldn’t have happened any other way than for you to have met. 

It felt very intentional at that time. Right away, I thought he might be the one. 

You’re talking at the train station if you missed the train, and he did. This random chance that you never missed the train, but today you did, that’s by design. It’s all by design. It will flow with it because that’s how it’s meant to work. 

Absolutely. Can I tell you about how I met my soulmate? Bryan was a soulmate in the way that my husband, Mark, because that’s just an amazing synchronistic story. 

I would love to hear that.

Okay. I aligned for it because I wanted to be ready to receive my soulmate. There was little resistance because I was afraid to say no to guys. I didn’t want to spend a lot of time dating. I just wanted it to happen like that. I did, and it worked when I was ready. 

I learned this breathing practice that you could call in The Beloved. For women, instead of breathing the vagina out of your mouth, you’re thinking of the Beloved and talking to them. I did this breathing practice until I felt he was right in front of me. I said, “I got to do something to set up the flare.” So, here I am. 

I made it clear how woo-woo I am. It was clear who I was looking for and what I was about. I sent it, and Mark, among other guys, responded immediately. I thought he was pretty cute. He was a therapist, and he lived an hour away. We went back and forth by email and then agreed to meet for our first date. I had never had a date in 29 years. I was married for 28 years then. People told me you should meet in a public space and people can see you. 

We met for breakfast at this bagel store in my town. The minute he entered the door, he was pushing people out of the way to get to me. We hugged. I was like, “Oh my god, this feels good.” We just talked and were so animated. I was like, “But he’s not that tall.” My first husband was 6’1″. I’m just under five feet, and Mark was 5’8″. I don’t need a tall guy to protect me anymore. 

We had a wonderful time. He walked me home to the creek where I lived. I had the image of what I wanted my beloved to be. I had a picture on my wall of Krishna and Radha walking in the garden with garlands, looking at each other with absolute adoration. That was the image of true intimacy I greatly longed for, which my previous marriage couldn’t provide. 

As Mark and I walked around the creek, we kept looking at each other and were like, “Huh, is it you? It’s very much like I know you.” We got home and kissed goodbye. The next day was my birthday, and I had a party with my daughters and friends. Afterward, I was going to go to this static dance, and I wanted to invite Mark to come and do it even though I just met him the day before. I was thinking of playing it cool. My ego wanted to do it, but I wanted to see him again. 

I told him, “I want you to come out for this dance thing.” He said, “Start at ten o’clock. Can I spend the night with you? Let me sleep on the couch?” I was sure. I’ve been celibate for six months. I was waiting for my soulmate. He said, “Can I spend the night?” I was like, “I was celibate for six months. It’s my birthday, yes.”

What helped me know he was the right one was before we made love, he said, “There was something I’ve got to tell you that’s been a deal breaker in the past.” He said, “I was unfaithful to my wife. I liked you a lot. If that was a deal breaker, I just want it to get out of the way.” 

I was like, “No. That’s what I am looking for. You’re willing to tell me the things you’ve done. That creates intimacy. That makes me trust you much more that you’re willing to do that.” We went out on the dance floor. We sort of merged. It was this amazing thing. 

Two hours later, people were leaving, and they were like, “Come on over here, we’re leaving.” It was a profound experience of connection. On our third date, we did a shamanic journey.

Thank you for sharing that. That’s beautiful. There’s a great quote from Edgar Cayce, an incredible clairvoyant and psychic, and what he received about a soulmate is this—a soulmate is an ongoing connection with another individual that the soul picks up again in various times and places over lifetimes. We are attracted to another person at a soul level not because that person is our unique complement but because by being with that individual, we are somehow provided with an impetus to be whole. 

Yeah, that’s beautiful, and that was what I’ve experienced in this relationship. We practice relationships as a path of self-understanding because your partner can see your patterns much better than you can. You can learn to be nonresistant to that, welcome that, and grow like you never would grow on your own. 

It’s a beautiful thing. 

It’s amazing the power of intention for that too. When I said, “I wanted a masterful man in his work, a master of wisdom and kindness, and a tantric master in bed.” I didn’t even know what that meant exactly, but it sounded like that. It turns out that Mark studied tantra. It’s a powerful energy master. You can have whatever you want if you are clear about your intention. 

That is so cool. I wrote down a relationship vision twelve hours before I met my wife. I was on a Tony Robbins Date with Destiny. Part of Date with Destiny was to do a poster board of your power virtues, mission statement, towards values, away values, and relationship vision. 

I wrote this whole thing down of all the different attributes of my soulmate and who I would be in the relationship, and how the relationship would be. Then I prayed to God for her to show up right away. Twelve hours later, we were introduced by a mutual friend, and I knew within five minutes that she was my soulmate. 

Yeah, me too. I knew I first met him after sending out that flare. It’s quite remarkable. People think things are so complicated that you’d have to work hard to make things happen, which must take a long time. Not in this universe. 

Because time is an illusion, so if you want it to drag out, feel free, but you don’t have to. It’s all waiting for you. 

It’s true. Whenever you get here, here we are. 

These people who are forces for good and for lessons in our life are just waiting in the wings. The supporting actors on stage left, waiting for the right moment to appear. 

Yeah, absolutely. It’s remarkable beyond words or understanding how profound and supportive we are and how much is available if we dare to ask and receive. 

It’s amazing. We didn’t talk much about your system, the Soul Alignment System. Let’s spend a few minutes discussing that and how our listeners can work with you and unlock all levels of awakening, miracles, and remove resistance. 

In a nutshell, the system is the way to align your subconscious mind with your goals so it doesn’t resist you, so you can accomplish or experience whatever you want. There’s a four-part process which I call the four secrets to align your mind with your goals. 

The first secret is getting deep clarity about the goal. We often have a goal, and our subconscious mind doesn’t even understand it. It’s too heady or beyond our experience, so it was like, whatever. It doesn’t even try to help you manifest it.

As a process, I call the six senses to deep clarity go through the senses, including experience in your body, the emotion of it, etc. When you do that deep process, you have a felt-in-body experience of your intention feeling true, many images. That tells your subconscious mind, “This is what I am talking about.” A lot of time, we lack that initial clarity then we don’t get what we want. Getting that deep clarity is a really important first step. That’s the first secret, the clarity secret. 

It’s very hard to move forward without getting permission from the parts of us trying to restrain us and keep us safe in our tiny comfort zone.

The second secret is what I call the permission secret. That’s because we often don’t want our inner protectors, the aspects of the ego that want us to stay safe above all and stay where we are, don’t want us to move forward with our big goals and dreams. They are scared that it will mess things up in our lives. That’s too dangerous or whatever.

It’s very hard to move forward without getting permission from the parts of us trying to restrain us and keep us safe in our tiny comfort zone. You can get permission by conversing with the inner protector or protectors holding you back, whether it’s your inner critic or whatever it might be. You can have conversations designed to get their permission. 

They might have some conditions that make it safe to do that, but once you have permission, all parts of you are ready and able to align for your goal to have your goal happen, then it’s a lot easier to move forward. That’s the second secret, getting permission from inner protectors. 

The third secret is just removing all the resistance. I teach five Rs to remove all resistance. The first one is released. You just take a deep breath in. That’s an example of releasing. We all understand. We can also release and let go of something we have held onto for a long time. 

I raised $9000 to publish a second edition of my book, The Soul Guide to Magical Life. The publisher went out of business and took all the money I raised. I really had to let go of that. It’s not going to happen that way. I can’t make it happen. That’s another kind of release. The release is important in one of the five Rs to remove resistance. 

The second is resolved. It’s really hard to resolve or do it anyway. I remember when I started to do public speaking. The first time I did it, I got up to speak and could feel my face turn red. It must be super hot, and I was just kind of shaky. I said what I had to say anyway because I needed to say it. 

I sat down, and people clapped. I was like, “Oh, I didn’t die.” I guess I can do that again. Over time I became comfortable in public speaking. That’s resolve, you do something hard, and it gets easier because you are willing to do the hard thing. 

The third R to remove resistance is to reframe it. Reframing is finding a new way to see it that gives you new opportunities to take action where you couldn’t before. For example, the six senses to clarity process often give people a sense that I see a new way that I could move forward. A new way of being that I can run into what I wanted to create.

The fourth R to remove resistance is to replace subconscious programming. You’re changing the level of programming, the patterning. Getting permission for subconscious parts can do that, like I was talking about the second R to remove resistance, permission secret. 

Reframing is finding a new way to see things that give you new opportunities to take action where you couldn’t before.

There’s a whole different process that creates belief change or cord-cutting. There are a lot of different processes that change programming at a deep level, rewriting soul contracts, and many different ways. Those fall under replacing programming at the level you created it.

The fifth R is realizing. Realizing is when you see the higher perspective with God and realize the truth you see with your real eyes. You’re like, “How could I be so blind?” It’s hard to make that happen. It happens as a blessing or grace but is a powerful way to remove resistance. That was the lightning-fast version of the five Rs to remove resistance. 

The last part is real alignment. Alignment is something you do that just pulls it all together and ties it with the bow. You know deep within you that your goal is true. Now you need to see what’s the inspired thing to do.

If you’re not in alignment, that would be maybe working at a job you don’t love and doesn’t feel like it’s your calling, but it feels safe, and you have lots of money coming in, but then you get fired for an unjust reason, or everybody gets laid off, or some big acquisition happens. Everything is a blessing. 

Absolutely. It’s so interesting because many times with jobs, people find themselves with jobs that inner protectors have picked. “This is safe. This will protect you. This will keep you going.” But it’s not really at all what feeds your spirit. There comes a time when you don’t take the hint to move on, and life will go, oop!

If you’re not being authentic to who you are, you’ll get a slap from the universe. 

Yeah, it’ll say get back on your path. 

Quickly, what’s an example? 

I realized that I had to move down to my words. My husband Mark, I thought he would move to the city where I live, but he is a therapist who has a business, and people physically come to his office and see him. I work with people online, and I can go anywhere, so I had to move to his home, which is a lovely home in the woods.

But I was alone so much because he was gone a lot, and there was a lot of snow that first winter. I was just going out of my mind with being alone all the time. I left everybody behind. I was too proud to tell my friends I went with my soulmate, and I was miserable. 

Cabin fever. 

I did a lot of suffering until I finally admitted it to some friends. They helped me move through it. It was a profound awakening. I made myself physically ill by feeling sorry for myself and heartbroken. 

I suffered greatly, realizing I had created that. It was a real thing. I could kill myself by feeling terrible and heartbroken. I could check out that it was interesting that I would be willing to do that but wasn’t quite willing to do that. I did end up in the hospital just from thinking poisonous thoughts. 

Alignment allows your goals and intentions to meet and materialize. Your true goals will reveal themselves when you set clear intentions. Share on X

I learned this from Tony Robbins. If you think there are only two choices, you’re fooling yourself. If you’re in a dilemma or it’s a Catch-22, always an illusion. 

Yeah, there’s always another way. The universe is infinitely creative. It doesn’t only need to only have two choices. 

What would have been the third choice? 

The third choice, which I eventually did as I realized I could create community wherever I am. Where I came from, I knew thousands of people. I was deeply known and loved. I felt so comfortable and wonderful. 

I didn’t know anybody. I was alone a lot. I’m an extrovert, and it did not go well. Then things turned around when I did an inner alignment, and as soon as I did that, I immediately realized there’s a yoga studio in town called this Vishnu’s Couch, bringing enlightenment to the south. I bet these were my people. 

I went over there, and sure enough, I discovered some communities there. I started to go to Unity Church and speak there. All kinds of opportunities opened up when I was willing to see it possible.  

Again, this idea of you is not late. You’re perfectly on time. If you had that foresight or insight to jump right in and then go check out those different places, the yoga studio, etc. right away, you wouldn’t have gone through that awakening process internally and come to terms with things and had gone through that inner alignment process that you did. It happened the way it was supposed to. 

I remember the exact moment because I just remember lying on the snow in my snowsuit. It was a sunny day. I just felt like no one even cared whether I lived or died. I could just fall off the face of the earth, and I could see and imagine myself on the bottom of the earth. I was like, “I’m just going to do that now. I’m going to let go of the earth, and I felt myself lift.” 

Suddenly, I could hear the sound of running water that I hadn’t noticed before. I could feel the breeze on my face and my hair tickling me as the wind came, and I was like, “This is real. Everything else was in my head, and it was so profound. I can feel the ground. I can smell the air. I can feel my heart beating.”

It was such a profound awakening that I couldn’t forget. Whenever I am suffering, it’s not real. Maybe it’s for my learning, but it’s not really in the sense of being present with what it is. 

Yeah, amazing. You got that beautiful experience and couldn’t have gotten the short path. 

No, it was good. I didn’t have a car for three months. 

It is all working out for us. Alright. If our listener or viewer wants to work with you on soul alignment and take their lives to the next level, how do they work with you? 

I’m offering a gift, my Soul Alignment Assessment, which will help you identify. First, you pick your goal. Then the assessment will teach you if you don’t know how to tap into your deep knowledge. You can use your deep knowledge to identify what inner work you need. 

I’m happy to support you with that. That’s a great entry point if you have a goal that you want to fulfill and you’re wondering why this is not happening from here. “Why is this such a struggle?” The Soul Alignment Assessment will help you identify exactly what you need, and I can help you do those things.

My website is thesoulguide.com. One of the things I’m letting go of is my desire to get it done. I will ask for my money back and have somebody build it. She started it, and she’s never finished it. It’s been a source of frustration for a long time, and I finally realized I just have to accept that no matter what she says she’s going to do, she’s not doing it. I’ve got to hand it over to somebody else.

Again, it was meant to be the way it was meant to be. 

I know. That was something I resisted for so long. I wanted her to do it. She was doing a great job to start with, then boop, just gone. 

Thank you so much, Pamela. This is an inspiring and enlightening episode. Thank you for your vulnerability and for sharing such amazing personal stories and epiphanies. I hope our listeners will take the next step with you, do that Soul Alignment Assessment, and uplevel their lives. 

Thank you so much. It’s been a great pleasure to be with you, Stephan and bless you for all the good you are doing. It’s a beautiful thing. 

Alright, listener. Now it’s time to get off your butt and do something amazing in your life that is going to make your soul thrive, feel, and be loved unconditionally by you. It doesn’t have to be huge. Just do something. We’ll catch you in the next episode. Have a great week. I’m your host, Stephan Spencer, signing off. 

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