In this Episode
- [00:09]Stephan introduces his next guest, Dr. Dain Heer, a bestselling author, entrepreneur and internationally renowned speaker.
- [01:29]Dain talks about consciousness, its nature and its origin story, becoming the key focus of his life’s work and mission.
- [04:21]Stephan asks what actualized in Dain’s life as he started applying the tools from Access Consciousness.
- [07:15]Dain shares his thoughts about accessing that emotional state of going beyond the normal spectrum of emotions, beyond even just joy and bliss.
- [10:29]Stephan wants to know how to measure lightness and sense a person is lighter today than yesterday.
- [14:25]Dain and Stephan discuss the significance of awareness that together, we craft the future of our world, and our choices can be part of creating reality.
- [20:55]Stephan tells the definition of a miracle in Kabbalah, which is defined as removing the illusionary veils that don’t allow us to see the light in every experiencing moment.
- [33:42]Stephan shares his recent learning about the full court of the atonement process.
- [42:24]Stephan is curious to hear what Dain will do in negative situations, whether he will be reactive or ask questions about why it happened.
- [46:48]Visit Dr. Dain Heer’s website to learn amazing tools to apply in life. Also, visit his YouTube channel to gain access and see what piques your interest.
Dain, it’s so great to have you on the show.
Stephan, truly a pleasure. Thanks for having me.
You bet. I’m excited to talk first of all about consciousness, the nature of it, and how it’s shown up in your life. It seemingly becomes a lynchpin or a key focus for your life and your life’s work, your mission. I’d love to hear that origin story of how that came to be.
I became a chiropractor because I wanted to create miracles in people’s lives.
You’re correct. I’m a co-creator of something called Access Consciousness. We’re in 176 countries around the world at this point. I actually started out as a chiropractor. I became a chiropractor because I wanted to create miracles in people’s lives, and I saw people doing that. They were creating these amazing changes, not just physically but in a person’s well-being.
I got to a place 21 years ago where I have been unhappy for the better part of three years. I didn’t see that anything I was doing was working and I’ve finally given up hope for the first time in my life. I was tired of struggling and I set a date to end my life. Had a plan for it. That’s how bad it was.
What happened was I saw an ad for Access Consciousness, and I ended up having a session. I went into that session with a plan to end my life—depressed, suicidal, and struggling—and I came out of it with a gratitude for being alive, and a sense that something was possible to change, that I had always hoped would exist but I had never found in this lifetime. So I was inspired. I knew something different was possible. I also knew that I was never going back to that dark place.
I started using the tools of this thing I’ve never done called Access Consciousness. I started working with it. Within a few short months I met the founder and we became fast friends. So we’ve been part of creating it around the world.
Back to the original question of consciousness, we actually have a definition of consciousness, which is where everything exists and nothing is judged. For me, it’s a part of every breath I take. It’s every waking, living, breathing moment. The reason for that is because when you function from consciousness, your life just works. Your creations work. Your endeavors to do something different turn out far more easily that you ever imagine they could.
What my life’s work is about is bringing people the awareness that there are other possibilities, but also the tools to actualize those other possibilities. Possibilities that you know that you can’t seem to get to are a source of frustration, anxiety, struggle, and a sense of failure. These are the things that actually start to change in people’s lives as this becomes available to them.
We have a definition of consciousness, which is where everything exists and nothing is judged.
What actualized in your life as you started applying the tools from Access Consciousness? You got out of the suicidal rut that you were in, but what else happened? It must be some sort of miraculous set of events that gave you, without a doubt, a sign that there was something more, like the unseen world is more real than the seen world.
That is exactly what started becoming my walking, talking, breathing awareness. This first session created a break in the pattern that had been going on for so long. I started using the tools. I’m a seeker. I’m one of those people who goes to weekend workshops, reads books, is looking for anything he can to better his life, and was all through it at that point.
What would happen is I would go to a weekend workshop and feel like I have found the answer to life. Then by the middle of the following week, it all came back in on my head again because it wasn’t sustainable in life. It was only sustainable in the classroom.
What Access Consciousness has is a bunch of tools. We’ve got over 8000 tools and ways of changing things in the trenches of life. That’s what I started doing. I would have a situation come up and I would go through my little list of tools that I started accumulating one at a time, and I would try that.
The mark of whether it worked or not, in other words, got me back to my reality was whether or not I got lighter and happier or more peaceful. One of the great awarenesses we can all take away from this is, what’s true for us makes us lighter. A lie for us will always make us heavier.
If you’re doing something and it’s lighter, it’s what’s true for you. If you look at something or think about it and it’s lighter, that’s what’s true for you. If it’s heavy, it’s not what’s true for you. There’s a way of changing it necessary to make it light, to bring lightness to it. What started happening for me was I started waking up light. I started waking up happy. If that would dip during the day, I would have a way of changing it in that moment.
Consciousness is where everything exists, and nothing is judged. Share on XI don’t know how many people have this sense, but for me when I was growing up I always had this, I don’t know if it’s a dream or what, but the sense that life should be rich. It should be enthusiastic. It should be something that you love.
There was a sense associated with that that I had from the time I was really young, and I remember experiencing it for moments and then it would seem like it went away. What started happening with these tools, is it started being there every moment of every day. Yeah, I would still have downs but they wouldn’t be nearly as low as before, and the ups were just getting higher and higher. Not manicaly high but sustainably lighter and lighter and lighter.
There’s a point where you go beyond the normal spectrum of emotions, beyond even just joy and bliss. There’s a place where it’s even just a game, where you recognize everything but love is an illusion. This is a fun simulation and I can co-create whatever I want. It’s hard to stay up in that place and also stay grounded to the physical reality at the same time. I’m curious what your experience is of accessing that kind of emotional state.
I’m so grateful you put it exactly as you did because exactly that. Anything that is not that we would color-associate with love is an illusion, and it truly is. We’re living in a vibrational virtual reality, but we’re the programmers of it and we don’t realize it. That game analogy is so apropos in so many ways.
If you’re doing something and it’s lighter, it’s what’s true for you.
The thing about this is, like you said, we have beyond what would be called bliss, which is why I mentioned it’s not a manic state. It’s a state where it spaces, what I would call it, a space of our being, really, which is where everything that occurs has total peace. Everything that occurs becomes just an interesting point of view. What that means is you’re no longer fighting. You’re no longer resisting and reacting.
You’re no longer triggered.
Exactly. You’re no longer triggered. Somebody goes, ‘you’re a jerk.’ You’re like, ‘okay, thank you.’ Or, ‘hey, what makes you say that? Did I step on your toes? I really apologize. I didn’t mean to.’
It’s like when Tony Robbins says that somebody’s poking at you or pointing at you saying you have purple eyes or something ridiculous. It just rolls off your back.
That. And that space is something in Access we call an allowance, which is everything is just an interesting point of view. That’s actually one of the tools that can really be helpful. If you take some upset that you got in your life, you just get the sense that energy of that yuck, stuck, or what the F about that. You just go, ‘hey, interesting point of view. I have this point of view.’ You just took that energy.
Everybody can do it right now if they want to. Do it or not, it’s your choice. It’s your life. I’m just doing this is maybe adding a tool to your life that might make things easier. You just get the energy and go, ‘interesting point of view. I have this point of view.’ You just be with it for a moment, and then again, an interesting point of view. I have this point of view. And an interesting point of view. I have this point of view. As the energy changes—usually between 3 and 10 times—that upset, you can’t even find it in your world anymore.
Life should be rich. It should be enthusiastic and something that you love.
That idea of letting things roll off like water off a duck’s back, is actually us being us. When we’re truly being us, things are at ease. They have joy and a sense of peace and space.
Yeah, awareness of our awareness.
That.
How do you measure this lightness that you said earlier? How do you just wake up in the morning and you feel lighter? How do you know that you’re lighter today than you were yesterday? Is there some sort of measurement? Are you muscle testing or are you just kind of going with your gut? Do you have some sort of number that shows up in your mind’s eye that’s your lightness level?
For me, it’s more of having a sense of having ease with everything going on around me. The lightness, gratitude, ease, and joy tend to live together. They’re similar vibrations. For me, because to put it on a scale creates a scale, which means what are you going to do when it’s 10 times that?
It’s interesting because I’ve asked so many people. When people come to the classes and use the tools, the change that occurs in their life is beyond description, usually. In other words, so many things change.
A lot of people come because they want to get something changed or handled. I got a relationship problem, I got a money problem, I got a body thing. I got a happiness thing. In working on that, what happens is everything else changes because the only time we create a difficulty in our life is when we function from unconsciousness or anti-consciousness, whether we’re functioning from unawareness or going against our awareness. We function from consciousness, everything works with ease and it has a sense of lightness.
My life's work is about bringing people the awareness that there are other possibilities and there are tools to actualize those other possibilities. Share on XI’ve had so many times where I would ask somebody who’d been in Access for maybe a year, I’d say, ‘okay, if you want to tell people what changed in your life since the time you started using these tools and coming to these classes, what would you say?’ They look at me and like, ‘are you kidding?’ ‘Pick one,’ and they’re like, I can’t pick one. ‘Everything is different.’
The way I interact with my family, the way I interact with my body, money’s coming easier, I look at the insanity in the world and I’m totally unaffected, and I’m creating possibilities in a way I never had before. It’s one of these things where it’s so indescribable, that to try to measure at any form of linear scale doesn’t actually do it justice.
What I ask people to do is, for anything that you’ve done, look back at where you were when you started. How different are you today? Of course, that’s a subjective assessment, but it really does bring the point home of how much change can be created in a particular amount of time.
You’re no longer triggered.
Also, what sense of future do you have now that you didn’t have before? That’s one of the other things that this way of looking at the world starts to invite. Rather than dread about the future, rather than I’ve got this thing and I’ve been doing it forever so I’ll never change it, or I tried to change this and it doesn’t work, you start to recognize my choice creates, and if I truly desire something, I will be able to create it. Or if I desire to change something, I will find a way. That is a really empowering space to live from.
And it’s one that is surprisingly powerful, not just for your own little sphere of influence that you think is your sphere of influence but world events. You can change the outcome of whether World War III happens or not in your slice of the multiverse because you’re the observer, you’re the pilot of that universe. That was mind blowing to me. I didn’t understand that until just this year. It’s incredible. It’s destiny-changing, not just life-changing. What are your thoughts on that?
I love that you bring that up because most people aren’t even willing to broach the concept. On a larger level, for me I get to talk a lot about things that might be changing a person’s life, but ultimately for me, having this awareness and having the tools to actually function from consciousness in more areas, whether they’re Access Consciousness or something else. I don’t care. That’s not important to me. But what is, is our awareness that we together craft the future of our world. What are we choosing, what can we choose that we never acknowledge, and what else is possible beyond this current reality that we never considered, that we can be part of creating.
A small example, I’m sure that maybe a couple of times on this podcast, just to show us how we are co-creators. We have two really big gifts from the Creator. One is free will (of course) and the other is co-creation. Co-creation gets short or even just ignored by many, many people. They just focus on their destiny or what is their karma without being fully in the driver’s seat of co-creating that reality, whether World War III happens or whether they win the lottery.
When you function from consciousness, your life just works. Your creations work—your endeavors to do something different turn out far more easily than you ever imagined. Share on XA small example in my life happened two months ago. I was driving. I had a package to drop off (FedEx). I didn’t know where the FedEx drop-off location was. I was playing with the concept of manifesting, appropriating, recently learned about it and how I can make it real.
So I asked for a FedEx truck to show up, and not even a minute later a FedEx truck was right in my path. It was parked in-between lanes, between two different directions. All I had to do was stop where I was—there were no cars behind me—and hand my package to the FedEx guy who happened to be behind the truck.
It couldn’t even be more perfect. I didn’t have to go a millimeter out of my way. It took all of about five extra seconds to hand off the package and I was done. That was such a great metaphor for life for me. That little FedEx truck that showed out of the blue instantly is how we can live our lives.
A lot of people come because they want to get something changed or handled.
It’s not just the FedEx truck. It’s the really big things. It’s our soulmate showing up five years earlier than was going to happen because we were just so cut off from our own power and the own vortex that has all of our wishes, dreams, and desires in there. Can you speak more about that?
I love it. I absolutely love that FedEx truck example because it’s so telling. In a lot of people’s world it might be a small thing, but what I found is it’s the small things that add up. Most of us are looking for what is the huge choice and the huge change that I can make? It’s got to be huge. What I found is the quality of your life is made up by the small moments added together, and the quality of what you know is possible.
It’s interesting because you mentioned co-creation and free will. Most people don’t get either. They would rather believe that there is something outside of them that is malevolently keeping them down. That there is something inside of them that is unstoppable. Clues start to arise as you start to go on this journey, and what is the journey? Just asking for more awareness. Asking to know what you’re truly capable of, to know what you can create and choose.
We have to realize also, we tend to look for the one choice or the one change that rules them all. The Lord of the Rings choice, the Lord of the Rings change where it’s like, yes, I have made one choice and now my whole life is different. That occurs sometimes, but more often what occurs that shows us we have choice, that shows us we are truly miraculous is the small things, that when we look back over them we go, wow, I actually influenced that, I actually created that.
What sense of future do you have now that you didn’t have before?
One of the things I ask people to do is to look back over your life at a couple of miracles that you created. Something you would call a miracle. Now, what’s a miracle? Something you created that defies physical laws, shall we say, or you don’t have an explanation for. We want to make it really simple. We all get the sense of having had things like that, but what we tend not to do is we tend not to acknowledge it.
We tend not to go, hey, I ask for a FedEx truck. Here it is. Most people go, isn’t that serendipitous? It is not serendipitous. It is in one frame of reference, but in actuality, it was your choice that created that. It’s also your request for that.
Yeah, it’s all me asking.
Yeah, that. The thing is, there’s a request in our world. One of the other things that I was recommending to a lady who was doing Access for a while, she was like, “You know? I really want my money situation to change and it’s not changing.” I said, “Well, have you asked?” She went, “Oh, no.” I said, “Will you now please? Just get this in. And the ask can just be the sense of the way it would be to have it be different, to have ease with it.” I said, “So will you now?” And she said, “Yeah.” Six months later, I’m like, “How’s the money thing?” She’s like, “Pfft. What money thing?” As soon as I asked, things started changing.
So there’s the request, which is for me I’m a big fan of asking questions but actual open-ended questions, like how does it get any better than this when something good or bad happens? What else is possible I’ve never considered before? What would it take for this to show up with ease? And what’s right about me or the situation I’m not getting? What it does is it opens another doorway of possibilities that you didn’t see before you asked the question.
It brings up another point that I think is really important. I just recently learned it from Kabbalah. In Kabbalah, a miracle isn’t defined as when the impossible becomes possible. Instead, it’s defined as removing the illusionary veils that don’t allow us to see the light in every experiencing moment.
Boom. Right there. Here’s the other conversation I’d like to add into this. You’re reading this beautiful passage of what is from the Kabbalah because once again, what’s true makes you lighter. Let’s say everybody here, probably everybody listening, probably has more of a sense of lightness after reading that.
Now, here’s the thing that for me is why I do Access Consciousness. Taking that awareness that that is actually what is true, and now integrating it and actualizing it in and out our lives, and living it.
Part of the reason I gave up hope 21 years ago was because I’ve been doing so many searches—spiritual, metaphysical, financial, business, all kinds of things. There were lots of things I wanted to change—my relationships, et cetera. Part of what’s going on for me was I would reach something like that, I would know what was true, but then I had no way to change what I was doing, or the tools that I had at the time were not about basically for me.
Look back over your life at a couple of miracles that you created.
This awareness that we have, this awareness you just stated with the reading from the Kabbalah, for example, is an acknowledgement of what occurs when you function from consciousness. What I see is us functioning from consciousness is the one thing that will change. And what is consciousness? Awareness. Once again, where everything exists and nothing is judged.
That ongoing choice, if we have that, we have the ability to function miraculously and change everything in the world that doesn’t work on a small and large scale, and invite things that we can’t even consider possible right now because we haven’t experienced them, that the universe has in store for us. If we would allow ourselves to expand our horizons and our awareness, and truly embrace how miraculous we are.
Deepak Chopra says we are infinite possibilities, and what you’re describing about having that existential crisis 21 years ago, trying to fix all these issues in different areas of your life—financial and everything else—this is the trap that many of us get into—me included—is to chase after the relationship or the health or the financial breakthrough, whatever, and other areas of life kind of fall to this because we can’t juggle all the plates simultaneously.
Instead—this is another secret I learned from Kabbalah—chase the white light. If you shine the white light through a prism, it has all the colors in it and it’s very visible and obvious. Those colors—the blues, reds, purples, violets, and all that—that is each area of your life. If you’re chasing after having the perfect body or a super successful business and you let other areas of your life slip because of it, that’s the fallacy that you can have all of the sides of the wheel all simultaneously a 10 out of 10. But instead, you chase the white light which has all the colors in it, the light being the light of the creator and this light of mercy that’s inside of you, then all of the gifts, all of the areas of your life get revealed to you.
Us functioning from consciousness is the one thing that will change.
That. I don’t actually have a good analogy. In my world, you can choose to go for that, which will change everything. That’s exactly what I’ve seen with people who choose more consciousness, however they’re getting there. It creates a different platform for living. As we mentioned, it takes you out of the fight and it puts you into the awareness that your choice actually does create. That’s a very, very powerful awareness to have.
I think a lot of the reasons a lot of people don’t truly desire to have that awareness is because they don’t want to be responsible for the “negative” choices that have occurred. But from this perspective, there is no negative, there is no positive. There just is. It’s about living that and getting to live that.
What I’ve noticed about us—weird people living on this planet—unlike animals, unlike plants, we seem to only be willing to become aware of what is we’re going through some form of problem and figuring it out, and coming out the other side more aware. Okay, so that’s part of the game. That’s part of the vibrational virtual reality we’re living in. Okay, cool. That’s the way it seems to be set up.
The gift of having a perspective, the logic will recognize that everything that you thought was a problem is only a path to possibilities. It allows you then to no longer resist anything that you might call a problem or think is one, but to milk it for the awareness that it has, and milk it for the capacities of you that it will show you. In so doing, we no longer have to resist the things that aren’t working. We move forward into them and we move forward facing them rather than avoiding them.
At the same time, we also don’t try to shove it under the rug and go, oh well—I forget the term I’m looking for here other than denial—where somebody goes, no, no. I’m totally conscious. I’m totally aware. I’m totally spiritual. I’m so up here, and you look at their life and you look at how they interact, you’re like, I don’t think you are what you thought you were.
Yeah, spiritual bypassing.
What else is possible I’ve never considered before?
Yeah, spiritual bypassing. Thank you. So with this different conversation available, it allows us to not try to have to do that. Part of the reason for doing that is because you’re judging anything about you that’s not perfect, because you’re perfect, you’re a creation of God, however you want to look at it.
Well, yeah but that doesn’t mean anything we got that is not “perfect” as a judgeable offense that we should cut off from. Instead, we should look at it and see what is the beauty underneath it. What is the possibility within it that is showing us. You then stop avoiding living and you start embracing living.
And as you’re living in that present moment, if you make choices that are non-reactive, restricting your reactivity, and also pro-active, then you reveal a lot more light. If you look back on the times where you didn’t do that, that’s in the past. That’s all part of the dream that’s not current, present moment reality. You can look at yourself with love, compassion and forgiveness, and not let it ruffle your feathers.
Let’s just say, oh well, the Hand of God plays in everything that happens—good, bad. Whether we see it as good or bad is also based on our frame of reference, which is oftentimes, I would say, always not the full picture. If we could zoom out far enough to see the bigger picture, we would see how everything is interconnected, and how things that we did in past lives are now affecting us today.
You’re perfect, you’re a creation of God, however, you want to look at it.
Just love yourself and be okay with all the mistakes that you made because it played a role, a purpose, for everyone’s highest and best good—you, of course, included—but also everyone who was affected because there’s a karmic debt to pay that you didn’t know about. There are untold blessings that come from the person having to pick up the pieces from the damage that you created, but you’re doing it from a place now, in this present moment of least amount of harm, most amount of joy and unconditional love, and you just constantly living in that present moment. That’s what I find that works best for me at least.
I would like to add a question to that, if I may. Can it at least start if somebody is willing to ask it to get that perspective? What’s right about this I’m not getting and also what’s right about me I’m not getting? This is the whole speed bump for me. It’s one thing to know that there’s a choice available. There’s a choice to look at how you may have harmed somebody and recognize it was for their highest and greatest, and yours. We try to do that a lot of times without actually being congruent with that, energetically.
What I found is, there are a lot of people trying to do this mentally, but they don’t have the tool to be congruent energetically where they can actually look at it and not have a judgment of them or a judgment of someone else. That’s why I say consciousness—we have this definition—is where everything exists and nothing is judged. Okay, I chose to do this. Here’s the effects that it had from my perspective, at least. Can I not judge myself for it? If I did something messed up, make amends for it.
If we ask a question, like what’s right about this I’m not getting or what’s right about me I’m not getting, it starts to head us in the direction of the doorway that we’re looking through being not what’s wrong about it, not what’s wrong about me, but what is actually truly right about this situation? What worked about it? What change did it create that I’m not acknowledging? Because as you said, for every situation that occurs, at the very least, there’s a chance for more awareness for everybody involved.
One of the other things, I would talk to my friend and business partner, the founder of Access, his name is Gary Douglas. I would talk to him and I’d go, ‘ooh, you know? This person says this person hurt them.’ He would go, ‘can anybody truly hurt anybody else?’ I’m like, wait, no, it’s lighter. Okay, but I don’t get it, because this person is always talking about how people hurt them.
We looked at it and I realized, oh, yeah. They’re playing the victim. That fits their story. Okay, fine. But I realized after looking at this with thousands of people over many years, nobody can truly hurt anybody else. How you respond to the situation as, oh, you hurt me, somebody else might respond as, thanks for the information.
For me, that perspective starts to give us not the ability that I think a lot of people are afraid of. If they truly have freedom, they’re going to go around doing mean, bad, awful things. That’s not those of you listening to this podcast, that’s not you guys. The people that are going to go do mean, terrible, awful things are people who like to do mean, terrible, awful things. That’s just what they are choosing right now, not you guys who if you truly had freedom to do that, you actually wouldn’t. You would do your best to make amends.
If we recognize this about us and start looking for what’s right about this I’m not getting, what’s right about me I’m not getting, we start to recognize that we actually are greater than we’ve given ourselves credit for being, and we can’t truly hurt somebody else who is not willing to see that as a hurt because that is their perspective, that is their choice.
This making amends, another way of framing it is you’re atoning. It’s atonement, which is also at onement. You are one with the other person, with everyone that you’ve affected, and it’s everyone that’s affected you positively, negatively, et cetera. I just recently learned of this process. It’s very simple on this side of the veil, at least, and it’s called the full court of atonement.
It’s a request, where in a couple of sentences, you bring in all parties who have been affected, you might have been the perpetrator, you might be the “victim,” although there are no victims as many people say. If you call in all of these souls who have been involved in this issue and ask for a full court of atonement, then all of the things that were unresolved issues, the karmic debts, and the perspectives that weren’t seen from the other person’s viewpoint, et cetera, all of that is clean, cleared, resolved. But what’s happening on the other side of the veil that we don’t see when we make this request is essentially legal proceedings.
Most of these “cases” are settled. Oh, okay, I see how I made the other person feel. Sometimes it takes the judge or whoever’s running the proceedings to show one party the other party’s viewpoint. They see, feel, hear, and experience that event from their perspective, from the other person’s perspective. Like, whoa, now I see how hurtful that was. Okay, yeah, I drop my case. The settlement is, I’m going to send more business to my sister-in-law or I’m going to do something extraordinary to make them feel loved and appreciated that really goes out of my way.
This is as simple as just reciting a couple of sentences, which is making a request. It is a prayer, it is a request for a full-court of atonement. What happens behind the scenes, you don’t need to see. Just know that things will shift. Over the next few days, you’re going to notice a change of energy, a change in perspective, and in the relationships. It’s really amazing.
I’m very excited about this. There’s a $5 book about it by Amy Jo But I’m curious, are you familiar at all with this concept?
Not that specifically. With the tools that I use, we would go about it a different way. Once again, the whole thing about consciousness, for me, is it’s total awareness, which is the interaction that you had in your perspective, but also being able to perceive the other person’s perspective, and what the effect was from their point of view. And also, what may have been possible that didn’t get created because both people had points of view, and then heading in the direction of that.
For me, I love anything that will create more lightness for us.
For me, I love anything that will create more lightness for us. Because, once again, when you’re being you, and what’s true for you always makes you lighter. Court of atonement, this is where for me, I go, if it works for you, I think it’s brilliant.
That’s the other thing. I would like people to try a lot more things. Rather than throw them out because it doesn’t match some previous conclusion they have about what is and the way things have to work, let’s try more things. Let’s try more things and let’s also be willing to screw more things up.
I tell people, I probably screwed up more things than most people have chosen, but I’m willing to choose, and choose again, and choose again, and choose again. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll choose again. If we would give ourselves that freedom and recognize we’re not perfect, we don’t have to be perfect. It’s not actually the target anymore; happy is. Start choosing more, try more things, try the court of atonement, try asking these questions. Try anything that comes across your path that makes you feel remotely lighter and then as you go through it, see if it makes you lighter. If it does, then that’s something that actually worked for you. As you go through it, if it doesn’t make you lighter, that’s not something that’s going to work for you.
If we would just realize just those couple of things and how easy it can be to have a life experience in which we’re allowed to have the experience not perfectly curate the experience before we make the choice, which is what most people do. Most people it’s like, we’ve gotten to this world in which it’s like, if you were to drive your car but you waited home until all the lights turn green on your path and it doesn’t ever happen.
People don’t choose because they’re afraid of being wrong. They’re afraid of being judged by others. When in actuality, judgment has no power, ours, or anybody else’s. We’ve just given it a lot of power. It’s the paper tiger. We don’t have to live from that anymore. We don’t have to live from the limitations that creates in our lives anymore. Let’s experience life and living. Let’s choose, let’s play, let’s create, and let’s try more stuff.
The quality of your life is made up of the small moments added together, and the quality of what you know is possible. Share on XI love that. The way I frame it is the willing suspension of disbelief because who wants to be a cynic? Look, I’m a skeptic. That’s not such a great thing, either, because that’s just millimeters away from being a cynic in my view.
Yes. The thing is, I will question everything and everyone, but I will not disregard anyone or anything. I will always allow it in. I think it’s okay to be skeptical, but I get your point. Not skeptical from dismissing it before experiencing it, dismissing it before checking into it at least.
Seeing, once again, does it make you lighter? This one simple tool and awareness can allow us to navigate our lives from a totally different space. Does it make me lighter? No, okay, then I may still have to do it.
I may still have to visit my family that doesn’t like me over the holidays, but at least I recognize that it’s because there’s a lot of stuff going on, that’s not really true for me and probably not true for them either that we call family. Okay, fine, I can still do it. But if we would start heading in the direction of those things that make us lighter, goodness. If we choose more things that make us lighter, what happens is over time, that builds, and builds, and builds, and the space of our life has a lightness to it that we never imagined possible.
Yeah, and we become more relatable to the people that are in our sphere of influence. A much larger sphere of influence shows up for us than we ever thought possible. There’s a little tiny book I’ve read many years ago called, How To Be a People Magnet. In that book, there’s a tool called scrambling. The concept is very simple. It’s just try things that you weren’t willing to before that you didn’t really gravitate towards as long as they’re not harmful.
For example, if you have no interest whatsoever in golf, try it just once at least. Then you can talk to people who you wouldn’t have had anything in common with before. Like, oh, I love golf. My handicap is whatever. I understand what you’re talking about, but I’ve never really done a lot of exploring into that sport. But I did try just a few weeks ago, my first 18 hole course and whatever, and now you got something to talk about with somebody who wouldn’t normally fit your paradigm. Another way of being lighter in the world is to scramble.
I love it.
Here’s something I would love to hear your thoughts on. Let’s say something bad happens and we’ll not make it super serious like cancer or something else. That’s totally life-changing. You simply stub your toe. Instead of being reactive, swearing out loud or whatever, you just ask the question, why did that happen or what’s the lesson? What am I meant to do with this? Yeah, I’m curious to hear what you do when that situation happens.
First, I will sometimes swear out loud at the top of my lungs if I stubbed my toe, or cut my hand, or something. I don’t see anything wrong with that at all. For me, it’s like, okay, well, I did that. What I’ve noticed is, so many of the things that have occurred that seem like that or you’ll get cut off and people drive slow in front of you or something, I’ve noticed that so many times, there is actually something that changed, either timing-wise or energy-wise, in my day. I put my focus someplace else or put me someplace else, so things actually worked out better for me.
One of the other things is that your point of view creates your reality. Reality does not create your point of view, but that’s my point of view. Everything that shows up for me is going to make my life greater. Because I like to drive really fast. Not unsafely fast, I just like to drive fast. In my lane, thank you, I don’t need to cut in and out, but I get really frustrated by slow drivers.
There are a number of times where I’d have somebody driving really slowly in front of me. Up ahead was an accident, or up ahead was a cop, or the number of times I would arrive somewhere, and I was just on time because of situations. I would show up and I’d say, I’m so sorry, I wanted to be here sooner and the person goes, oh, no, actually, I just got free. Or had you shown up sooner, you wouldn’t have had to wait for all this.
What I’ve realized is, so many of these situations of our lives occur because if we’re willing to have it, they’re actually creating a greater flow in some way that we haven’t acknowledged. In the case of stubbing your toe, what I do is I put my hands on because we also have these hands on body processes. I go, okay, body, what were you trying to show me?
For me, most of the world is looking for what is the lesson here. But what I found is if we function from lessons, we tend to be less on, meaning, we’re looking for a specific thing that was supposed to be shown to us by the universe, rather than letting in a different perspective of reality, which is what I would like to embrace. Rather than less-ons, I’d rather be a more-on. But hey, that’s just me. What are you going to do?
The way you could frame it is simply, I want to be a creator in the world and not just passively receiving lessons all the time. Then you create a different reality than if you’re like, all right, everything’s a lesson and I’m here to go to school, then you get smacked upside the head a lot more.
And you very seldom graduate. I want to point out just one thing really quick about the word ‘want.’ If you look in the dictionary prior to 1947, it has all these definitions, most of which mean to lack. That’s one of the words, not many things do I hear, where I want to give somebody the awareness or information, but given the nature of our conversation today, when we say I want, we’re saying I lack of. When we say, I want more money, what you’re saying is I lack of more money, which is why it doesn’t show up.
Your point of view creates your reality. Reality does not create your point of view. Share on XA really cool exercise you could do is, I don’t want more money. If you say that 10 times with the awareness of what want actually means, see if you get lighter. That’s one of those words. If we could eliminate the word want, because anybody I have met that has been highly creative, has a lot of money, a lot of stuff, a lot of happiness, whatever, they don’t use the word ‘want.’ They say ‘I’ll have,’ or ‘I’m asking for,’ or ‘I’m going to create this.’
Amazing. We’re up on time here. If our listeners want to learn these amazing tools, apply them in their lives, what is the next step and where should we send them to?
You could go to drdainheer.com. And also on my YouTube channel with the same name, which you can also access there. I’ve got something like 900 videos now that are accessible. They’re free tools, my gift to you. I’d say go to the website, play around, see what piques your interest, and check it out
Thank you so much, Dain. This was fabulous, inspiring, insightful, and a lot of fun. I hope and I believe that our listeners are going to take some powerful positive action based on all your wisdom from today. Thank you.
Thanks so much, Stephan.
All right, and that is a wrap. Thank you so much for listening. This is your host, Stephan Spencer, signing off.
